I woke up time and time again last night just smiling and wanting to scream to the world at how wonderful and sovereign and faithful our Lord is. I knew that today I had to sit down and tell all of you what Kyle and I have been able to experience. Tears fill my eyes as I think of what all I want to say. Joy is flooding our lives and depth like no other is taking root in our hearts. He is a God of love and we are blessed to be on the receiving end of that love.
I am in awe of my Lord and His faithfulness.
Kyle and I began this journey of parenthood desperately wanting me to be able to stay home and raise our own kids instead of leaving it up to someone else while we were at work. Through all of our decision making we wanted to make sure of one thing—that we were faithful and obedient to what the Lord have us do. Many doors opened and many details were worked out by His hands and thus I am staying home with Isaiah.
Kyle and I began this journey of parenthood desperately wanting me to be able to stay home and raise our own kids instead of leaving it up to someone else while we were at work. Through all of our decision making we wanted to make sure of one thing—that we were faithful and obedient to what the Lord have us do. Many doors opened and many details were worked out by His hands and thus I am staying home with Isaiah.
I am in awe of my Lord and His faithfulness.
The Lord has been preparing me all my life for this moment. I am reminded of a recent study that I did on Esther and of a specific verse that caught my attention then just as it does now.
Esther 4:14 says, “And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?”
Wow! The Lord has guided me and taught me all these years to bring me to this exact point in my life. I think back on all that my Dad instilled in me growing up regarding money and finances--the integrity of it all and the ability and knowledge to be able to use what I have been given and be smart with it. My Dad taught me so many things that at the time I didn’t want to learn about but they are echoing in my head right now during these times in my life. The Lord knew what Kyle and I would need at this point in our lives and he spent 27 years grooming us both for it.
The Lord has been preparing me all my life for this moment. I am reminded of a recent study that I did on Esther and of a specific verse that caught my attention then just as it does now.
Esther 4:14 says, “And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?”
Wow! The Lord has guided me and taught me all these years to bring me to this exact point in my life. I think back on all that my Dad instilled in me growing up regarding money and finances--the integrity of it all and the ability and knowledge to be able to use what I have been given and be smart with it. My Dad taught me so many things that at the time I didn’t want to learn about but they are echoing in my head right now during these times in my life. The Lord knew what Kyle and I would need at this point in our lives and he spent 27 years grooming us both for it.
I am in awe of my Lord and His faithfulness.
My staying home has grown and stretched Kyle and I in so many ways. Trusting in God and not in our own hands is one of the major ways. T his month was sure to be a hard one for us when I checked the bank account on pay day and Kyle's check was much lower than normal. It seems that I forgot to figure that insurance would drastically increase once I resigned and was no longer an employee at Levelland so our check would decrease. Oh my, what were we to do? Logically, I knew that it wasn’t going to work. I began working some magic to try and find ways to cut down this month so that we would come out on top. Again—I had been guided and taught all these years for such a time as this and I was prepared and able to do it. I knew that it would be close and tough for many months to come if this was to be our steady income. “We have to trust.” This kept coming up in the back of our minds. The first evidence of this trust came in the form of our income tax check. When I heard what we would be getting back, tears of joy and relief flooded my face but yet I was so mad at myself for second-guessing and doubting and not FULLY AND COMPLETELY TRUSTING THE LORD. In the back of my head I had been trying to figure out how to do it with my own agenda and my own hands. But the Lord chose to bless us. With that blessing, Kyle’s truck was paid off. We were being blessed beyond belief.
My staying home has grown and stretched Kyle and I in so many ways. Trusting in God and not in our own hands is one of the major ways. T his month was sure to be a hard one for us when I checked the bank account on pay day and Kyle's check was much lower than normal. It seems that I forgot to figure that insurance would drastically increase once I resigned and was no longer an employee at Levelland so our check would decrease. Oh my, what were we to do? Logically, I knew that it wasn’t going to work. I began working some magic to try and find ways to cut down this month so that we would come out on top. Again—I had been guided and taught all these years for such a time as this and I was prepared and able to do it. I knew that it would be close and tough for many months to come if this was to be our steady income. “We have to trust.” This kept coming up in the back of our minds. The first evidence of this trust came in the form of our income tax check. When I heard what we would be getting back, tears of joy and relief flooded my face but yet I was so mad at myself for second-guessing and doubting and not FULLY AND COMPLETELY TRUSTING THE LORD. In the back of my head I had been trying to figure out how to do it with my own agenda and my own hands. But the Lord chose to bless us. With that blessing, Kyle’s truck was paid off. We were being blessed beyond belief.
Once again, I am in awe of my Lord and His faithfulness.
Last night we were in the kitchen and discussing what we were going to do to make it through the next 5 days until pay day came. We listed off so many things that we needed—milk, cereal, formula, meat, etc. The list was growing and growing. Kyle & I talked about what we were going to do. At this moment, we became weak and forgot all the times God had proven His faithfulness to us. Time and time again He had reminded us of His promise if we were to obey and follow in His will. In our weakness and fear, we proceeded to the store to buy the necessary items that we “thought” were of urgent need at the time. Having only $15.43 to get it all, I pulled out a credit card of my parents’ that I have for major emergencies. We bought the needed items and put the excess items on the card, fully knowing that it was okay because mom and dad had given us permissionfor any need such as this. We completely took the Lord out of the scenario and tried to fix the situation with our own hands. We got back home and I went to check the computer to see exactly how much we now had to make it through the rest of the week. To my surprise, $110 had been put in our account while we were at Walmart. My heart just sank and I immediately asked forgiveness from the Lord for my quickness to forget His promises to us. I so quickly veered from trusting Him in a time of fear. How weak was I? This money that I had earned tutoring at Frenship wasn’t supposed to come until next month but for some reason was here now. What wasn’t there before we went to the store was there now. It was just staring us in the face screaming “if you had only waited just 1 more hour and trusted me.” I broke down into tears and I told Kyle that this was a gift from the Lord. Whether it was here now to show us that He WILL provide or it was here to remind us that we so quickly turned from Him, it hit us square in the face. The picture of us choosing to follow in His will but not fully trusting Him enough to truly follow His will just keep playing over and over in my mind last night. And My heart was just filled with love for my Savior that I had to tell you guys of how wonderful He is and how I am in awe of my Lord and His faithfulness.
I pray that we don’t quickly forget this day and turn from Him again in our time of need. But instead that we hold steadfast to what we know and that we COMPLETELY trust Him. I pray that you are able to do the same with the life he has given you today.
Last night we were in the kitchen and discussing what we were going to do to make it through the next 5 days until pay day came. We listed off so many things that we needed—milk, cereal, formula, meat, etc. The list was growing and growing. Kyle & I talked about what we were going to do. At this moment, we became weak and forgot all the times God had proven His faithfulness to us. Time and time again He had reminded us of His promise if we were to obey and follow in His will. In our weakness and fear, we proceeded to the store to buy the necessary items that we “thought” were of urgent need at the time. Having only $15.43 to get it all, I pulled out a credit card of my parents’ that I have for major emergencies. We bought the needed items and put the excess items on the card, fully knowing that it was okay because mom and dad had given us permissionfor any need such as this. We completely took the Lord out of the scenario and tried to fix the situation with our own hands. We got back home and I went to check the computer to see exactly how much we now had to make it through the rest of the week. To my surprise, $110 had been put in our account while we were at Walmart. My heart just sank and I immediately asked forgiveness from the Lord for my quickness to forget His promises to us. I so quickly veered from trusting Him in a time of fear. How weak was I? This money that I had earned tutoring at Frenship wasn’t supposed to come until next month but for some reason was here now. What wasn’t there before we went to the store was there now. It was just staring us in the face screaming “if you had only waited just 1 more hour and trusted me.” I broke down into tears and I told Kyle that this was a gift from the Lord. Whether it was here now to show us that He WILL provide or it was here to remind us that we so quickly turned from Him, it hit us square in the face. The picture of us choosing to follow in His will but not fully trusting Him enough to truly follow His will just keep playing over and over in my mind last night. And My heart was just filled with love for my Savior that I had to tell you guys of how wonderful He is and how I am in awe of my Lord and His faithfulness.
I pray that we don’t quickly forget this day and turn from Him again in our time of need. But instead that we hold steadfast to what we know and that we COMPLETELY trust Him. I pray that you are able to do the same with the life he has given you today.
2 comments:
Glad you blogged about this. You to remember this post and keep in on the forefront of your heart as you continue the stay at home mom journey! So proud of you for trusting God.
Janae, this is such an amazing story! It is crazy how quickly we get caught up in fixing things ourselves! I'm really glad I read this...
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